What is therapy?

Carl Rogers said that therapy necessarily involved a therapist being genuine, listening with empathy, and providing unconditional positive regard.

These oversimplify what therapy is, as it also holds you in the present like Fritz Perls, while pushing you to explore patterns in family relationships like Murray Bowen.

. . .is warm and fuzzy like Virginia Satir, scratchy and challenging like Albert Ellis.

. . .is unconditionally accepting like Carl Rogers,

yet unknown and unknowable like Sigmund Freud.

. . . finds the humor in life like Carl Whitaker, feels your pain while searching for the existential core like Rollo May.

. . . is innovative like Milton Erickson, yet formulaic (and creative) as each of these. . .

A good therapist is all of these, sometimes all at once, sometimes at different times. A good therapist recognizes when to do and be each of these. . . . when a client can be pushed and when support is necessary. . . .when to cry with her client, and when to laugh at life. . . .when to push a client to accept responsibility, and when to help her recognize herself as blameless. . . .when to accept her frame and when to challenge it. Each of these stances is a means to meeting the client's goals.

Therapy is a fascinating mix of science and art. The science of therapy comes into play when research and systematic observations help you observe similarities (and differences) in the present, as well as make predictions about the future. Choosing when to act (or not) is part of the art. . .

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