Rather than only critiquing and evaluating the style of the therapists in Wedding and Corsini, take some (small and measured) risks! Try a five stage interview from a Person-Centered Viewpoint. Exhibit 11.2 ( p. 300) should be very helpful in helping you format your interview. If your partner gives permission, audio or videotaping the interview would be a useful way to review what actually happened (rather than what you feared or hoped happened) during the interview. It also lets you see things which otherwise may have sneaked by with amazing speed.

Remember:

• Choose a topic that is unlikely to be threatening for either of you. You could talk about planning for graduate school, concerns about doing an interview, procrastination, etc.

• No advice, suggestions, or interpretations! Try not to ask any more questions than absolutely necessary. Remember that your job is to listen . Your colleague's job is to present a topic in a safe setting. Do not go for more than 30 minutes to one hour.

• Be sensitive to your partner's position in the interview. Give your partner the opportunity to to opt out!

• Be sure to give yourselves time to talk about this process afterwards. You can learn as much (or more!) from your partner.

• If you (or your partner) gets in over your respective heads, talk to me, a friend, or someone else you respect, or take the opportunity to visit the counseling center.

Write up this process. How was it? What did you learn? When did it work best?

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Last updated August 31, 1998